Have you noticed it? That nervous anticipation that grows until it becomes dread, a heavy pit in your stomach, that whirling progression of thoughts as you try not to worry about what lies ahead, but somehow it repeatedly rises to torment you, building into a fear that demands your attention above all other things?
Or maybe it isn’t quite so debilitating, but still exists in more common areas of your daily life without you realizing it. Listen to the things people say and you’ll hear it.
It’s Monday again.
I have to go to the dentist.
Why do I have to do that job?
I wish I could just cancel that appointment.
Why did I ever agree to go out with this person?
Why did they put me in at third? I’m a left fielder!
Why can’t I ever beat the heavy traffic?
Is it real dread, or is it lamenting that we don’t get what we want when we want it? I am inclined to think that even if it isn’t genuine dread, the constant mindset of not wanting something to happen creates a whole new thought process. We repeat the words, or the thoughts until they build into something that changes our outlook, our moods, and even at times our faith.
What is it in your life that brings you dread? What is it that twists and turns around inside of you as you wait for the when.
I understand dread. There was a period in my life that hearing a vehicle pull into my driveway created a rapid heartbeat and shallow breath and it took a supreme effort to not just stay behind closed curtains. From a period in my life of a practiced lifestyle of dread, based on multiple events, each with its own unique sense of dread, I created an atmosphere of fear as I waited as though trapped, not knowing when the things I dreaded were going to happen. And now, many years later, I can look back and see how not one of the things I dreaded came to pass with the horrendous devastation I was sure was in my future.
It’s no wonder the Lord teaches us in scripture not to worry. To fear not. To trust Him. To think about things that are good. The mind is powerful and can be a very dangerous traitor, influenced by a great enemy, especially if we don’t know the promises of God; if we don’t depend on Him and allow the Holy Spirit to be counselor and comforter and teacher.
What created the change in my situation? One day I turned on the radio that had sat silent for a long time. It was playing a station I thought I’d switched away from, and a preacher started talking, and to this day I can’t remember the words, but suddenly the depth of the reality hit me that I was trying to live within the darkness of dread without God. Not that He had left me. As the craziness grew, I had begun to withdraw, to believe the lie that I was done, that I had failed God and there was just no point…in anything.
But I was never really alone. I had family and friends, and most importantly, the Great Counselor was planting seeds that one day finally came together like puzzle pieces and I went to my knees and wept, praying as I hadn’t done in months. And then I got up and threw open the drapes that had been closed for much too long and let in not only the sunshine but welcomed in the Son. I immediately turned back to the Word and seeking God because I knew if I sought Him I would find Him, that not only did I need to seek with all my heart, but oh how I wanted to seek Him.
God is faithful!
For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” – Romans 8:15
If you are dreading something and wondering when it will come, my hope is that you will turn to God, and consider that the time is here when we need to be asking, “when will He come?” and joyfully prepare, with no dread at His coming if you have believed by faith that Jesus is Lord and Savior.
As we approach Resurrection Sunday, I offer you the solution to not only my past issues of dread and fear, but any that might come in the future, and that is the joy and strength that comes with my relationship with Jesus Christ. If you need prayer, please use the contact form available on the menu. You can also use that form if you have questions about the Christian faith, and how you can join the family of believers.
Next blog: I have earnestly desired . . .